Lately I've been leaving a couple forums. I can't say the mood has been sudden. I think it's that I'm finally starting to listen to what I have been thinking and feeling about them for a long while now.
First I left FUS. I was at FUS for probably 1½ years. Then when I saw someone (who I didn't really know by the way) being repeatedly bashed by some of the forum visitors, I felt disgusted with the place. There were other problems too -- didn't get along with the admins, and I didn't like the negativity around FUS. A lot of people were speaking out against the bashing that was going on, and I used that moment to leave. My leave was well understood by many... or at least that's the story going around.
Then just the other day I left SFGHQ. I had been going to these forums mainly to promote my ProSonic project. I had been posting less frequently the last few months I was there for two reasons -- ProSonic interest seemed to take a dive (I guess they wanted less talk and more visual), and I've noticed some members getting pushed around by rude comments. I too have been the subject of rude comments. I usually push them to the side or make a low-level defensive statement against them. However when I made a topic about my recent GAO encryption I've been discussing, few people seemed interested. That was fine, but then one comment finally fired me up -- "Am I the only one who thinks this statement comes off as incredibly pretentious?" (referring to my October 27 deadline). Some people don't see the big deal, but I do. I argued and he continued on to say that my encryption would fail and basically never become anything. Never would he discuss what I truly wanted to discuss. So I left, and people thought it was the dumbest reason to leave... or at least that's the story going around.
If you compare these two situations, they're the same, yet they're different. I had a feeling I wouldn't get the same type of feedback I got from FUS. It's all timing. If you leave when all the problems involved aren't right up front where people can see them, then they're only going to look at the icing instead of the entire cake. They're obviously going to think you're nuts. If you leave at the moment when bigger problems are apparent, people probably won't think you're so crazy. It's interesting how people react so differently when distress is in the air around you than when it's only in the shoes you walk in.
Truth is I was planning to leave SFGHQ for months, but I never did because I thought maybe things would get better. It's not a horrible place, but I just don't like some of the attitudes of people -- "elitists" I call some of them. Elitism is thinking you're above others... but I look at it with a stereo-type that so far hasn't failed me. The stereo-type of an elitist is someone who thinks he/she can say whatever they want with complete disregard to anyone's feelings. If you have a problem with what they say, tough -- "that's life" they always say. But I say its people like them who make life that way. Outside the internet, it's like I live in a very different world. It's still life, yet I am surrounded by people I actually like! Perhaps that's because there's less of that elitism that I talk about.
The moral of all of this -- if they think you're wrong, you might be, or it could be that they're blind to see anything your way because they're used to their own environment. Just do what you believe and stick it to anyone who wants to laugh at you because of it. In most cases, you know if your actions have been warranted or not.
12 comments:
The reason why I find you annoying is that you lack a certain degree of modesty.
"Sonic engine to end all Sonic engines."
"GAO Encryption(...)if you can crack it(...)you will get to test drive a ProSonic demo."
You like to surround yourself with yes-men. I'll never be able to cope with that attitude.
End of story.
I'm extremely modest, but I don't hold back when I want to promote a project of mine. You don't know me and are foolish for pre-judging me. Ask anyone in the real world and they'll tell you I am very modest and always put others above me. Go back where you came from please and don't post on my blog anymore.
Look, whatever, but that's the impression you gave me lad. Good luck with the project.
While I agree that damian isn't being very modest about the project, my tendency, based on how I've seen him act aside from advertising prosonic, would be to defend the immodesty with the following statements.
1.) This is a very, very ambitions project. Surely there's no point in starting a project this ambitious, and then being humble about the intentions.
2.) Damian appears to be using these statements as project goals, and as such I would guess that if this project ends up being anything other than "The Sonic Engine to End All Sonic Engines", he will feel it has failed.
3.) He has made no claims as to the strength of GAO encryption, but stated that he is curious as to how long it can hold up. The offer of getting to test a beta version of ProSonic seems to be more an effort to drum up interest in cracking his encryption than to promote himself in any way.
Hey guys, what's up?
Damian can hype or promote as he wishes ProSonic. How many crappy games are promoted as "ultimate Sonic game", "best thing ever"?
I think what your doing for the Sonic game making commuunity is awesome man, keep up the good work man! When do you think we could expect a first release?
I am famous for being a kiss-ass whenever anyone does anything that looks good, so take that into consideration...
But personally, I know wht Saxman is talking about. That is the same reason I left FUS in the first place as well. I know, and dislike these 'Elitists'. It doesn't matter how good you do, somebody will always point out the bad in everything. Saxman is trying to promote his project, and make it look worth using, and I am all for all for. Think about this.. What if there was an ad on TV... "We garauntee that our product is NOT the best." How much attention would that get? Even less than 'Head-On'.
Note that most of these elitist don't know the first thing about programing anyway.
Nice work, Saxman, and the project shows excellent potentail. Keep up the good work!
I have never seen you being openly modest, and what I have seen leads me to believe otherwise. Call it promotion if you will, but if thats the case then your breed of promotion and modesty simply are polar opposites.
And asking people in the real world doesn't help at all. People assume entirely different personas on the Internet, and right now, you are that person on the internet.
While I've argued with saxman at length before over unrelated stuff, I do think that if finished ProSonic could drastically change the landscape of fangaming, and that seems to be a sizable part of the violent reaction from the SFGHQers. I signed up there and meant to respond, but I guess the topic got deleted or just sunk away or something.
But my point is that the SFGHQ crowd are a community built around a certain kind of fangaming project, which is drastically different from what ProSonic wants to make possible. I would posit that ProSonic's model of fangaming would be a lot more inviting to people who aren't interested in reinventing new engines (and similar things) and ultimately has the potential to promote more and better fangames in general, as it seems to be able to accomodate people of any skill level and give them the tools to make something cool.
Sorry if I'm covering treaded ground, I've only skimmed the SFGHQ discussions on it.
Just thinking... what's the point of making a whole encryption system when it's supossed to be an opensource project?
Its more a of "I can act like a jackass because you cant touch me" thing. =P
You left SFGHQ for the same reason I did... Almost 84% of them there are elitist jerks.
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