Tuesday, August 18, 2009

The Truth Behind Praise

This is a rant. If you don't like rants, you are free to ignore the the next couple paragraphs.

There's one thing I really can't stand about people. I can't stand how some of them suck up to you when you're really good at something, but play you down when someone does a better job. I can't stress how many times over the years I've been let down by people I thought genuinely liked me as a person and were truly friendly people.

Anymore, when someone starts praising something I do, I immediately become skeptical of that person. I've almost gotten to a point of paranoia. It's bad. I don't like someone playing me up, and then trashing me when I'm not #1 anymore. What's fair about that?

Something that is even worse is when someone doesn't like you at all until you impress them with something, then suddenly you're their best buddy. I hate that more than anything. That is also something I've seen a lot of in my life. I've impressed so many hundreds of people and gotten so much praise for different things I do, rather it's being the guy who really made Sonic ROM hacking a big thing, or playing a musical instrument, or impressing people with my overall knowledge at a young age; and yet it's so disheartening to know that few really choose to get to know me on a personal basis and see me for the person I am inside. Suddenly, when you make a mistake, you're ridiculed for no real good reason and you begin to realize that they neither liked you nor disliked you to begin with. Essentially they see you as an icon of sorts, but never really a person.

By tomorrow, I'll be fine. Occasionally though, I get in these little moods where I have to ask myself how many people truly appreciate who I am. That's a horrible thing to ask one's self. I know I'm loved, but does it extend as far as I sometimes believe it does? What really cheers me up is when after I've gotten a hard time by those who choose to tear me down, someone comes along and tells me they still believe in me. That means a whole lot, and more people should say it.

Anyway, I needed to vent because sometimes it's not helpful to hold it in and never say anything. I just wish there were more people who were as friendly as I am.


Anonymous said...

Saxman --

I'll throw in my two bits towards the idea that all hope is not lost for your approrpriate recognition:

To whomever may ask, I'll always point to you as the "original" source of my inspiration.

Obvisouly, I've stuck with you over the years, as here I am replying to one of your non-technical blog posts. I've even enjoyed each and every one of your "extreme storytime" episodes. ;)

Good luck, and I love what I'm seeing with ProSonic.

-- Ivo.

Oliver Wilmot said...

Hi. Sorry, I can't find where I would download your ProSonic engine? Could you help please?

Robert said...

I don't really know what to say, other than "that really sucks". I want to say I know exactly how you feel, but in all honesty, I don't think I can. To say, I've had the same feelings, but I've never been in your shoes. And its really hard to try and sympathize with you, seeing as I'm one of those people that don't know you. To tell the truth, I've just recently learned about you through my ROM hacking research.

However, seeing your work amazes me! It makes me want to work harder to achieve my own goals in the ROM community. I know all of that is counter productive to your blog just now, but if nothing else, I want you to know that you're making a difference to us, and you've got a fan (and a friend, if you want it) who admires your work, regardless of how slow it is or whether or not its your best.

Remember, strength isn't the ability to stand against any obstacle and never fall. Strength is, when you DO fall, the ability to get back up.

Don't let those n00bs get you down!

Bryce said...

Just checking the website for any updates since you haven't gotten back to me and I saw this.

Personally I always feel super guilty when I ask other people to do things for me with game making or what ever else I might need help with online. I'm ok at talking to people in real life, ok not great but ok.

However when it comes to online stuff I just don't seem to know where to begin talking to people perhaps because you know so much less about them at least in some regards. I think this is why while I visit a few Sonic forms and talk to a few people there is probably no one who would consider me a friend. Its not because I don't want to be, its because I just don't know where to begin. That and sometimes I go though a few weeks where I get on the internet very little only to turn around and get back at it full force.

Just my two cents.