Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Vibes I Send and Recieve

I don't understand it. It's been a problem for me for years. It happens more with girls I meet than guys. This doesn't happen with every girl I meet, but once in a while I will meet a girl and give her the impression that I like her when I really don't. I don't know what it is I do. One person suggested I come off as way too nice to be genuine. I believe that's probably true to an extent. I have gone out of my way in the past to help people in ways that most normal people wouldn't ever attempt to help. My hope is that I will start a good friendship. Maybe I try too hard?

Tonight I was chatting with a group of people online. I didn't really know any of them, but I was hoping to simply chat and have a little fun as a result. It turned really ugly though, and this girl who seemed really nice to begin with slowly began to send a really negative vibe to me it seems. Her cousin was calling me a child molester for no reason that I can see at all. As his language got nastier, she didn't seem to care at all. When I tried to talk to her privately, she suddenly signed off (or blocked me; not sure which). It became obvious to me that they didn't like me.

I don't want to act like someone who can't make friends -- I've made many. I will admit that I have severe problems with trying to get to know people better though. This isn't just online, this is in real life too. I find it very depressing sometimes. If anything, I believe this issue is directly related to my poor social skills. I know I did nothing wrong to warrent the harshness that I came in contact with tonight, but I'm not even sure why I got it at all. Maybe they're just odd people, I don't know. I just wish more people understood me. I'm a pretty normal person (or at least that's what I believe!)

I might not even bother reading the comments to this post, because I can picture the type of comments I'm going to get from some people -- saying how there isn't a such thing as normal, or how I need to find a new group of people to socialize with. Those comments are exactly the kind of comments I don't want. Those comments are well-intentioned, but they get me a little mad. If I can't socialize with average everyday people, I'm an outcast. I refuse to be an outcast. Also, outcasts are usually very unsuccessful people in life. I'm not a weirdo, I just need better social skills is all.


Qjimbo said...

Relax about the social skills.

There really isn't such a thing as "social skills" per say, it really just boils down to being confident and pacing yourself in regards to talking to people, and thinking before you speak. There isn't some magical toolset that allows you to communicate with everyone you meet amazingly well, it's just practise and being confident.

As for those people, well the bottom line is, if they're so paranoid of child molesters, why are they letting that child online. You should tell them to leave the chat if they're so paranoid. The mistake you made was contacting the girl privately, you should have just left it, or been rude right back at them. I can see how it happened though. If anyone called me a child molester, I would have left the chat and not bothered talking to either of them because they're clearly more trouble than they are worth. Or told them to shutup or get out if they were a rogue element in a large group of people you like. It's about being assertive.

Anyway I'm rambling... one more thing to consider are the issues of certain types of people. I myself am a geek/need, so I tend to get on well with other such people, but struggle to properly connect with non-geekier types. However in my second year of college (before uni) I was surrounded by a lot of general people, so I was unable to find the "geek group" that I normally do. The result was my ability to socialize with more people improved, because you learn how to behave towards this type of person (bit of a contradiction from my earlier statement, but oh well).

Anonymous said...

People on the net are stupid. plain and simple.

Roman said...

Honestly, it probly does have to do with th fact that you're too nice, you don't have to be a complete asshole, but if somebody's being a dick to to, then do it right back.